Blue Eddie (by Nina)

"I can find pain in everything I see."        Eddie Vedder Milan, Italy, 13.11. 1996

Eddie, whats the color inside of you?
"It's blue...just like your eyes...
People say blue is a sad color, blue is for sadness...
I feel blue...but I feel happy...
it's right there... between my stomach and my ribs...
I love this color.."

I just returned from my trip to Milan and this was the trip I will remember until the rest of my life...
 I don’t think I will be able to express what I feel inside me with words... but I am going to try for each and everyone of Pearl Jam fans out there...
My God, it was amazing.. I met Eddie Vedder in person...
I met the Eddie Vedder...and it happened something like this...
we were there very early, so me and my friend were one of the first people who got in and we wanted to have the greatest view on the stage...because it was very early all the people were sitting down and we sat down too...
I was so excited and had so much fun the whole day...the trip was awesome, we met so many pearl jam fans and other people who went on their concert...
well after a while I started looking around and I saw a man sitting next to me, he had a very strange hat on it was covering half of his face...
so I couldnt see his eyes, just his chin...he wore a pair of old black jeans and blue corduroy shirt...I dont know why he drew my attention...he just sat there, watched the stage ....
I started looking at him...and he suddenly raised his head and looked at me... ohmygodohmygod this was Eddie Vedder...
we stared at eachother for a while...
then I smiled at him and looked away....
I told my friend that Eddie is sitting next to me, alone...he was just sitting there... she was like yeah right...hehe...and I called his name...
”Eddie?” He looked at me, smiled and said:
shhhhhh...
 I smiled back and he moved closer to me and started talking...It was amazing...he gave me hand and I held his hand...it seemed like I held it for hours...we talked about everything that came on his mind...
he was in such a good mood, singing along on REM record that played in the background...showed me Michael Stipe’s and all his friends phone numbers that he keeps in his Casio watch...
.I asked him about certain songs, thanked him for coming here and thanked him for everything that he and his bands gave me.
He hugged me and said I was most welcome...also my friend was talking to him
and the funny thing was...noone noticed that there was actually eddie Vedder sitting in the audience, I mean the hat was a good cover, but for someone who knows what Eddie Vedder looks like...that shouldnt be a problem..... people were passing by... noone saw him...
he signed my T-shirt and my friend also took a picture (he didnt see that thank goodsness)...
I asked him questions about his song, he explained the story of Red Mosquito...he said that to him that is a sad story...it carries a lot of pain and that the mosquito is actually life itself... and how it affects us...
I asked him if he reads poetry, he said he doesnt, he said he doesnt read much...and then we discussed what a pity that is...
that there is too little time left to do all the things one wants to...
I told him he has a lot of fans in Slovenia and asked him why didnt they come there...and he said...that they want to make this tour short...because they all have busy lives
at home in the States...he said Jack has kids to raise and he himself has a lot of laundry to do, hehehe.. that was funny...

we talked about the ticketmaster and what kinds of problems fans have right now to get tickets and that really upset him...he said that he doesnt wanna think about that, because he cant do anything to help
us...and then i thanked him for doing what he did... :) And I could see the smile on his face, he put his hand on my shoulder and said...well, thats the least I could do...
also my friend asked him questions...my god, it was amazing..
His nailes were painted silver...I asked him why was that...and he gave the most simple answer...he said...
”You know...when I looked at them...I think theyre made of steal...I have a feeling they are stronger...look there is a place when I hit the strings...no color...and see, the nails on my right hand are longer...on my left hand I have short nails...they look strong don’t they?!”
 Now I know that everything that Eddie does, he does it with a reason...
 when we were talking we had a hell of a view on stage...Eddie started talking about the problems with security and how does he feel on stage lately...he just couldnt stop talking...
he said that every night he has a word with security and that tonight he has a good feeling about everything and that whoever tries to stage dive will be removed from the concert immediately...he said there is enough water for everyone and told us...
actually he gave us some advice on how to avoid the hype during the concert...then he said about something the stage being his office and the rest of the place...hallways...he said he is trying to be a good boss...
I asked him if he’s happy on the stage...and he said:
”Naaaaaw, I only play for money”
Hehehe... yeah right!
He was also asked a question where does he see Pearl Jam in the future...he said...he cant see into the future...
he said he cant even promised he’ll be back after this tour...he said a lot of things can happen...good things...bad things...but then he smiled...
 I told him that my fave song was Yellow Ledbetter and I thanked him for writing it...he smiled at me and said...
my pleasure...we havent played that in a while now...maybe tonight it’s the right time...I’ll see what I can do...
and he played it at the end of the show...it was amazing...
He stayed with us until 8pm, thats over an hour... when the people started getting up, he said that he better go now, because he has to talk with the band before they go on stage...he hugged me and said:
“Take care...and have a great time tonight...this is going to be one hell of a show....”
Then he gave us a hand and left... I still cant believe what actually happened...I dont think I ever will be able to describe how I feel inside right now...
Eddie is one of the nicest and smartest persons I have ever met in my life...
He seemed so small and so vulnerable...his voice has such a charm...
oh and what a voice that is...when he sang along to REM record...with his amazing voice...ohmygod...
he kept telling me how much he loves this record...he knew all the songs by heart...
he sat so close to me, that I felt the warmth of his body...I dont think that at that time I realized what is really happening to me..
Eddie, thank you for everything...thank you for being what you are and for sharing your life with us...
words can not describe what that evening meant to me and Spela, I never thought that something like that could actually happen to me...
you changed my life with your music and your lyrics...
you opened to each and everyone of us a space where we can breathe and share emotions...
thank you for your care, thank you for your smile and the warm look from your eyes...
 I will treasure this moment forever in my heart...
it was nice meeting you Eddie, thank you for coming...
I only wish we could make you smile too...
He came on stage 5min after he left...sang a Who song, Kids are alright and it was so beautiful...I was one of the few people that knew the lyrics to that song...most of the Italians dont even speak english...
but the audience were great...Band was in a good mood...maybe Stone wasn’t...he didnt smile much...Eddie did all the time...Mike’s solos were excellent, Jeff’s bass playing was as good as always...
there wasnt any jumping on the stage which surprised me a bit...Stone and Jeff switched places and instruments once, it sounded good, hehe....
I missed Lukin, Black and Mankind...I really wanted to hear these songs...but we got Nothingman and all the great songs....maybe i’ll get to hear the rest in Budapest...
I told Eddie I was coming and he said...that that show will be something special...:))) Goody...I told him....all Pearl Jam’s shows ARE special...
He smiled and said....naaaaaaw.... Hehehe, modesty, hehe...
Oh HE didnt talk much during the concert, but was happy all the time...
 Eddie, you dont know how happy you made me and 3 more people who got to know you that evening...I never even dared to dream about something like that would happen...
With each and every minute that passes by I remember more, I remember your movements and all the looks on your face...Thank you Eddie, thank you with all my heart... I love your smile...
I love You! Nina
(nina.grasic@eunet.si)



“ I can watch how this people do their job on stage from here, hehe... “ Ed Vedder
Hail hail...
God, it was amazing once again...
we came to budapest very late, like 5pm  and the show was suppose to start at around 7pm...
well we only had the time to get out TEN CLUB tickets and we were looking for a ticket window  like crazy...we have never been there before, so we didnt have a clue where the ticket window was, so we checked out every glass door...
and We  saw something that took our breath away...
there were Stone, Mike and Eddie sitting on the desk and talking and laughning...
we were all like WOW and came closer to the door and waved...and they waved back and  smiled at us...it was amazing...:))
I wrote a “thank you” note for Eddie on the bus and I wanted to give itto him just in case if I see him...
well we stood in the first row throughout the show and suddenly someone from their crew came by and I  was like:
Excuse me...are you Jerry...could you give this note to Eddie and he was like...”ABSOLUTELY” Also people from Bugs (mailing list) gave  them emails and some other things... :)) Well the show was awesome...it was even better than in Milano (setlist)
They played 2:30 hours: Who you  are, Dissident, Glorified G, Lukin, Mankind (I was one of the few people  yelling Stoney! Stoney! Stoney! MANKIND!!!!!!! MANKIND!!!!!! all the time, heheh) , Alive, Even flow, Rearviewmirror, Off he goes, Present tense, Long road, I got ID, Porch, Jeremy, Once, Animal, Betterman, Red  Black White (or whatever), Hail Hail, Corduroy, Habit, Daughter, State of  love and trust, Immortality, Tremor Christ, Leaving here (with the fastbacks) ....
I think thats all, I hope I didnt forget anything...
Eddie didnt talk much...at the beginning of the show he said
“You promise you’ll be good tonight?”
And we were all like: yeeaaaaaaa ..  Stone and Jeff and Mikey (damn he looks good now) were all in a great  mood, I was yelling Stone all the time and was right in front of him and he looked me a couple of times and smiled at me (and what a smile that  was)
I was yelling MANKIND!! MANKIND!!! all the time too, hehe and LUKIN!!! Got to hear both...
Well Eddie seemed to recognize me:)) and you have no idea how good that made me feel...when he was singing  HAIL HAIL he came close to me and pointed on me while singing..
”I refer  to those in love yeah”...
maybe he did it because there was this guy standing close and Eddie thought we were like together,
 hehe..in love...well it was amazing...what can I tell you...
Stone’s MANKIND kicked ass, he is so cute!! :))
Fastbacks sounded better than in Milan, they came on stage later on and  helped Pearl Jam singing Leaving Here, it was sooooooooooo amazing! I  love thi song!!!
After the concert we went back to look for Pearl Jam to that glass window  where they apparantly had wardrobe...
well YES! YES! YES! There they  were...Jerry came out, I asked him if he gave that note to Ed, he smiled at me and said: “of course...”
Then we asked him (there were just like 7  people) when are they coming out...he said that very soon, because they have a flight to catch...
and he gave Tinca the thing Ed plays his quitar with :))))) He is such a nice guy...
Unfortunately we couldnt wait therelong, because our bus left at midnight and it was way past eleven... :(((  Otherwise we would have seen the band....
But like I said, their music means much more to me than anything else in the world...
so thanks Vedder  for making Budapest rock, it was great, probably one of the best European  shows so far....Now I need my sleep.....zzzzZZZZZzzzzzzz...
Btw, I met some people from BUGS...
Sophie, she is really nice and Vojko from Croatia  :)))) My day was really perfect!!
I love you, Nina